My Quilt

The quilt holds many memories for me, it's a piece of my childhood, and it's something I enjoyed doing with my Great Grandmother. Most people would consider a quilt something to cover up with and keep them warm, but for me it represents so much more. Most quilts represent a story for the person who owns it and the person who made it. The quilt I own has a story to tell, but I am only able to tell my side of the story. When my Great Grandmother decided to make the quilt, color was an important factor in how she made it. The main fabric color of the quilt is green, which is my favorite color and the only fabric she had to buy, the rest was made up of any color fabric she had lying around. She used the maple leaf pattern, with some adjustments to it so that I could help put the pieces together. Instead of having leaves everywhere on the quilt she put each leaf in a square. Making the quilt is not as easy as it looks, once you see one finished. First she made the squares, which meant making nine separate squares to sew together to make a leaf in a square. I helped cut the pieces of fabric that would connect each leaf. She gave me patterns to go by, a fabric pencil and a pair of scissors and sent me to work.

I can remember going to her house and watching her sit and carefully quilt many different patterns into it. Most of the sewing to put the pieces together was done on a sewing machine, but the love was quilted in by hand. Some of the designs on the connection pieces were drawn on first they sewn in, but most were from memory and only needed a ruler to help make sure the stitches were spaced the same. Making the quilt was a labor of love for her. She would sit and quilt for hours, not a bit worried about what was going on in the world outside. I can still see my Grandmother sitting at her quilting frame, in the middle of her living room, patiently quilting. I loved to sit and watch er quilt, watch her move her hands gracefully over the quilt. Each stitch was pure perfection in the way she moved the needle up and down through the fabric. She would put for or five stitches in before she would pull the thread through.

My Grandmother made quilting look like art. One of the things that caught my eye each time I'd go to watch her quilt was the thimble she had on her thumb. I never understood its purpose, but she always said she couldn't sew without it.

That quilt she worked so hard on is now old, and a little worn, but it is still a small piece of my grandmother that I get to wrap myself up in on cold nights.

The most beautiful Quote ever...

“The soul that can speak through the eyes, can also kiss with a gaze.” - Gustav Adolfo Becquer

(thanks Kat)

Quotes of the day...

“Hold fast to your dreams, for without them life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.” - Langston Hughes

“In the depth of my soul there is a wordless song.” - Kahlil Gibran

“Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you.” - Marsha Norman

"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are." - Bernice Johnson Reagon

"Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love, to work, to play, and to look up at the stars." - Henry Van Dyke

(have to thank Kat for these)

The Song...

Set here with me at this piano as I play a melody for you. I sing my life to you, pour my soul out into song. You are my sweet friend who understands the melodies of life, we could set here forever and sing the songs that mean the most to us. I am at ease with you here by me, no expectations no cares other than the songs that come to our lips. This is one of those moments we all live for, to just be and have fun and enjoy the company of a kindred spirit.

The songs cross all lines and boundaries, they cover the years we know and the ones we don't. They are songs that have made us laugh and cry, they are a part of our past and our future. We sing loud and we sing soft. They are songs about love, loss, friendship, hope and despair. We both teach and learn as we listen to the stories and notes. This is our connection, it has always been.

The day has turned into a song of its own. You write the notes as I write the words. Oh what a beautiful song we have my friend.

Kindness

I see
I hear
I feel
your pain.

The pain, the ache, the need.
They have been with me for years.
They are my burden to bare.
They are as much a part of me
as the love, the hope,
the light.
It is only now that I let you
see them.
See me.
I tore down my walls for you.
I have nothing to hide.
I lay bare for you to read.
In return you have
covered me with kindness.

Choices

The nameless shapeless thing
floats into my life like petals
on the calm waters.
I walk in to touch them
as the tides was them away.
Is it tears that streak down my
face or the spray from
the sea?
How far out into the waters
can I go before I drown?
Do I dare to take
the next step?
The sands are sinking
beneath me.
Courage calls to me from the sun.
Fear yells all around me
on the wind.
The petals wash inland, just
outside my reach.
Only seconds remain to choose
before they are lost forever
in the sea.
The choice is only mine to make.
Will I swim to them or will I
walk away empty handed
again....

I think I love you...

You have seen but a glimpse of who I am.
Please understand that you do not know me.
I’ve only shown you a small part, the rest is protected.
It’s not that I don’t trust you, I do.
It’s just that life is a delicate balance of give and take and at this moment I have given more than you.

You say you like what you have seen.
DON’T!
I am flawed, broken and unworthy of your kind words.
I am not the person you think I am.
I’m trying to let you in to see the real “me”, tearing down my walls one brick at a time.
I don’t know if you will like what you see or that you will even care.
Fear keeps me at a distance, keeping those special parts of me hidden away from view.

You have touched my heart and this is not an easy thing to do.
That is a place few have ever known, even for those whom I have loved my whole life.
I am both a simple and complicated person, it is just how I am.
Yet you have managed to connect with me in a way that no one else has.
You should not be able to read me the way you do.

We both know what is and isn’t real, but I also know that those lines are beginning to blur.
For both of us.

That leaves one question…

Where do we go from here?

Regrets

Regrets are weird things.

They come into my heart with soft-padded
cat's feet,
silently wrapping steel-sharp wire
around the outside of it;
then pulling--hard!--
ripping the very core of me.

The pieces land soggy:
three-day-old cornflakes
piling in the pit of my stomach,
curdling, souring.

A song stirs a memory,
and I begin to think of all
the could-have-beens,
the what-ifs,
the why-nots.

Stop! I tell myself.
you can't do this to yourself.
You are where you are.

Deal with it.

This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never
cease,

For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
"The Lord is my portion," says my soul,
"Therefore I have hope in Him."
(Lam. 3:21-24)

Begin a new morning, I tell myself.
Go the only direction you can--forward--
making the Lord your portion
and living in great faithfulness and soaring
hope.

Those two have a way of crowding out
regrets.

~from Psalms for the single mom by Lisa Hussey

For You

I do not know you
yet my heart breaks for you
I want to reach out to you
show you that I care
I'm giving you a part of me
so that you know you are not alone
You deserve so much more

To ease your pain
to give you hope
to show you happiness
to see you smile

I spent the day thinking of you
hoping you will find love in your life
praying that love will find you
and you will know it when it does

My heart is big and hurts for those I care about
tears were shed to wash away that pain
a smile replaced both when I felt you smile
one day all the pieces will fall into place
and that day will come soon

The Last Piece

You are in my daily thoughts
You are in my nightly dreams
You have awaken a piece of my soul

I am intrigued by you
I want to know more
I want to look into your eyes

Is time on our side
Or are the sands running out
The darkness is closing in
Yet there is light in our eyes

Truth and trust are with me always
Are they with you
Hope and understanding are with us both
The last piece will be
Love

Home to Me - Josh Kelley

This song has a VERY special meaning to me. I have a song for most moments in my life, both good and bad. This song will always remind me of the good things, because there was more good than bad.

I miss you, probably always will.

The Secret Heart

Across the years he could recall
His father one way best of all.
In the stillest hour of night
The boy awakened to a light.
Half in dreams, he saw his sire
With his great hands full of fire.
The man had struck a match to see
If his son slept peacefully.
He held his palms each side the spark
His love had kindled in the dark.
His two hands were curved apart
In the semblance of a heart.
He wore, it seemed to his small son,
A bare heart on his hidden one.
A heart that gave out such a glow
No one awake could bear to know.
I t showed a look upon a face
Too tender for the day to trace.
One instant, it lit all about,
And then the secret heart went out.
But it shone long enough for one
To know that hands held up the sun.

~Robert P. Tristram Coffin

Good Enough

i am but pieces of a whole
i have been torn, shredded and scattered about
i am frightened be put back together
i can still love with my entire soul
and hurt with my entire heart
i am adrift in this life
never feeling like i am really a part of it
watching what is happening
instead of being an active participant
my life scares me

Falling For You by Sean Fournier

Song

When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady cypress tree:
Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, remember,
And if thou wilt, forget.

I shall not see the shadows,
I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the nightingale
Sing on, as if in pain;
And dreaming through the twilight
That doth not rise nor set,
Haply I may remember,
And haply may forget.

~Christina Rossetti

Validation

Validation is good for the soul, the mind, the body and the spirit.